Our Real Prince Charmings

  Remember, women, when we were kids, and dreamed of prince charming, a gorgeous wedding and a beautiful house? Well, most of us did dream of all that and found out the hard way that it could only exist in dreams and fairy tales.
  But not me. I waited, and suffered, thinking my turn would never come. While at teenage, I saw all those "relationships" of my friends that were nothing like I'd dreamed of and thought that maybe it would be the same with me. Nevertheless, I waited. Although I didn't find out by trying myself, in my mind everything had already changed. I even considered being single for the rest of my life, and pictured myself as an independent working woman, living alone with my dog, and having fun with a casual boyfriend... Getting married young, giving up things for a man, all that seemed like things only a naive, submissive woman would do. I couldn't know, since I had never lived a real love then.
  Now I understand it.
  My first relationship was great, and I was willing to marry him. It didn't work out, and for a while after breaking up I thought that maybe I could've made it work. But now I see that, as I had made a decision for my future regardless of him, then it wasn't meant to be.
That decision I had made now has changed because of another man. I've given up my plans for him, something I never thought I would do. I hesitated, a lot. But that's why I know how important he is for me. That's why now I understand.
  A friend of mine who's got a European boyfriend went to his country to spend 3 months there and ended up living there for 10 months. A completely different language, different food, no job, troubles with her mother-in-law. When she came back, at the airport she started to cry. Asked if she was happy to see her family after such a long time, she said: "no… I'm miserable because now my boyfriend is so far away!"
  Another friend who's just turned 30 and is doing her doctorate is thinking of giving up her academic career to support her boyfriend, who has to travel a lot because of his job. Her previous relationship had lasted many years, and her ex-boyfriend had even bought a house for them to live after getting married. She broke up with him nonetheless.
  Yet another friend, a strong and independent woman, with a bright future ahead of her, has never had a real boyfriend. She's dating this guy who says he's in love with her... after a week dating. She told him to give up, that she's not the kind of girl for him, she's rational, he's passionate. Still, this woman has caught herself missing his everyday messages on the phone, and feeling they've known each other for much longer than a few weeks. I said, go for it, girl. Love is a box full of surprises, and men can be much better and much worse than we would like them to be. So bad that we'd be better off without them, but so good we can't help loving them...

Summer 2006

These are my first vacations in Japan without a boyfriend. Actually in my very first summer here I was single too, but then I had only a month and too much homework to worry about how I was going to spend those days.
What I mean is that, since my ex-boyfriend lived soooo far away, every vacations I went to his place and spent a month or so there. Now I have two entire months to fill with... what? Yeah, that is the problem. I mean, WAS, because now I've got three trips scheduled. But just before classes were over, the only trip I had decided (but not yet booked) was the one to Beijing. At first, I wanted to go in the beginning of August, but when I called the travel agency there weren't any more openings, so we (brazilian Fabio, indonesian Septa and japanese Eriko) postponed it to september. We'll be there for 5 days visiting cultural and historic heritages in Beijing, including, of course, the Great Wall, which is what I wanted to visit the most.

Before going to Beijing I'm going to Hokkaido, in the end of this month, to work as a volunteer interpreter at the Rally Japan 2006. It is a rally, yeah! My japanese friend Orie, who likes cars and actually takes part in some competitions with her husband, is the one who told me about this rally and asked me whether I didn't want to work there too. I said, why not? And here I go. It's volunteer work, so we have to pay for transportation expenses ourselves, but the organization will provide us with accomodation and food. I hope it'll be an exciting and unique experience!

Since I began with the last trip, at last I'll tell you about the first one. Next week I'm going to Nagoya, crash at my friend's place for a couple of days before going to a 2-day barbecue party in Gifu, gathering brazilian students from all over Japan (not all of them, of course). After that, back to Nagoya just to leave for a tiny uninhabited island to spend the day... and suntan, yay!

(sigh) Can't wait for it to start. It's so damn hot in here without an AC! Gee...

Back and wanting to go back

Yes, back to Japan, but wanting to go back to Brazil. Spring vacations were awesome, and I couldn't help feeling there's nowhere else I belong but Brazil, my beloved home! The land and the people are warm, and despite of the problems (economic, political, social etc. etc. etc.), it's home, sweet home.
So I made up my mind about what to do right after I graduate: going back, of course. I don't know whether I'll go back for good, or whether I'll try to make my life in yet another country. I might even come back to Japan, eventually, but in April 2008, if you wanna find me, Brazil is where I'm gonna be.
If you know many brazilian people (and I say many because you can't tell about a country by knowing just a few people from there), then you'll probably have noticed that we tend to be patriotic. Especially when it comes to football! Yay! And this year is World Cup year, so you'll (hopefully) see some green and yellow celebration around. I'll do my nails green and yellow...

Plans

Hi...you (is there a you?). I know it's far, but I've already got my plans made for next spring break. I'm going back home, but first, I'll make a stopover in America and visit San Francisco! Yay! If you didn't know, I very much sympathyze with the gay community (though, as you did know, I'm not a member). And SF is worldly famous for the large number of gays, which must make of it quite a gay (i.e. bright and cheerful, according to the Oxford definition) city, uh?
It seems to me that California is a nice state to visit. Maybe I've been influenced by Hollywood and Californication, but at least it's as far as it could be from Washington DC... no, dun wanna go there...

About summer vacations, um, does anyone wanna come over? I won't be here most of the time though. Anyway, hope all of you are doing fin, 'coz I haven't spoken to any of you lately. Send me news!

Catcha later!

Homesick

"Homesick" has been the label to describe me lately. What can I do? I really miss Brazil. It's not that I'm seriously depressed or anything, but I can't help my mind from turning away to whatever reminds me of home. It's hard, I had never been like this in Japan. And it makes kinda worried, cause I've got 3 more years ahead, which means I gotta hold on. Well, of course I'll go back home in the meanwhile, but right now even that doesn't sound good enough.
It's such a paradox! I miss home so bad, and that means, of course, I'd like to go home. But at the same time, if I was planning to go home soon, if I had any concrete assurance I'd really go home soon, I wouldn't be homesick, I'd just be longing for my trip. So, what can I do to feel better? I don't know! I've not a clue...
I hear some of my friends are facing the same situation. Is it the time? Second year in the uni, 2 entire years in Japan, success x failure, good x unpleasant discoveries, cultural shock - overcome x suppressed, a lot of experiences anyway.

I've been led to this idea that the 1st year was like childhood: we learned how to talk, we took our first steps in this land, we learned a lot in a short time span, everything was new, interesting, we could see almost no harm in people, and there was always somebody to help us, take good care of us. But then we grew. Growth hurts. Growing requires sacrifices. We left our home and the ones who took care of us to lead an independent life somewhere else. But we can't go back home. Not that home. Who's gonna take care of us now? Ourselves.
We discovered a new world, the real world, where people aren't always gentle, where you might be anonymous, or just "one of", a face in the crowd. Things won't be given to us, we have to go and get them, fight for them. Does it matter what we think, our wills and desires, our hopes and dreams? Sometimes, but not for everyone. Maybe the ones you wish would listen to you will not.
And, however some say we don't have to follow them cause we're not part of them, yes we do. Or else, what are we doing here? Somehow we have to be like them in order to accomplish what we are to: studies. Though I do think we should be ourselves, stand for what we think and not care if our grammar is wrong or if we wear normal clothes.

We're growing. We'll reach something in the end. What? I guess we stay and see...

Hi! It's been a long time, uh? Yeah, vacations, and after vacations exams... You guys know how is the whole thing. Well, this week I have only a big report to write, but I also have to stusy for 3 important tests next week. I'd have another test and another report for my English class, which I haven't attended this entire semester, but I decided not to do them... because I've recently discovered (something that I was supposed to know from the very beginning) that I can replace my English classes for Japanese. -.- So, as I have more than enough credits for gaikokugo, I'll spare myself the trouble of studying and the time for writing the report. That's also because there's a possibility I might fail it. I have no idea of what they've studied, but it's about Japanese Economy... no more kabushikigaisha!!

Yesterday I watched a great program on the TV - they were asking foreigners on the streets what in Japan they didn't like. A girl said she'd had 3 of her panties stolen from the clothes-line. A guy said that in the train or bus, some people avoided sitting beside him. A Korean girl said that Japanese people just say they like Korea now because of Yon-sama, hahahah. A man said he didn't like the way girls dressed in Harajuku, and then on the stage they showed some awkward pictures of those girls... and the Japanese audience: "ee, naruhodo..." haahhahahah Finally, a guy who's been in Japan for 11 years said that, even though he speaks Japanese all the time, some salarymen will always try to reply him in English. Then he went to a big train station to interview some salarymen, asking things like "Have you drunk a lot today?", in Japanese, and they'd say very loud and happily "YES". "What do you want now?" - "Biiaa"(beer) or "Rabu"(love). Haahuhauhauhhauh... ah it was very ridiculous. I think they should do that kind of program more often.

Oscar and I are probably going to Korea in the beginning of March, for about 5 days. I'll put some pictures here when we come back.. See ya!

Yatta

All my life, I've had only a few joys when doing some sport. I was that kind of kid who does much better inside the class and many times the PE grade was the worst one on my records. Even outside the school, I couldn't enjoy all the games the other kids would play, because I used to think I wouldn't be able to, I was too weak, too coward...
Looking back at my history, maybe that's why today I felt that good. Tuesday is PE day at the uni. I'm playing table tennis this semester, and it's a lot of fun! But today it was more than just fun. I played seriously and, despite having been a very diputed match, I won at last. However, my team is still in a yabai situation. We won 2 of the 5 games, and the last game haven't finished for lack of time. The problem is that this last game is now 2 x 2 sets. So next week an only set will determine the winner. I really want to win this time. Of course everybody wants their own team to win, but this time... I guess I could finally overcome my childhood frustration, and believe I can actually do something when it comes to sports.
Although some people say "ping-pong" isn't a real sport...