Our Real Prince Charmings
Remember, women, when we were kids, and dreamed of prince charming, a gorgeous wedding and a beautiful house? Well, most of us did dream of all that and found out the hard way that it could only exist in dreams and fairy tales.
But not me. I waited, and suffered, thinking my turn would never come. While at teenage, I saw all those "relationships" of my friends that were nothing like I'd dreamed of and thought that maybe it would be the same with me. Nevertheless, I waited. Although I didn't find out by trying myself, in my mind everything had already changed. I even considered being single for the rest of my life, and pictured myself as an independent working woman, living alone with my dog, and having fun with a casual boyfriend... Getting married young, giving up things for a man, all that seemed like things only a naive, submissive woman would do. I couldn't know, since I had never lived a real love then.
Now I understand it.
My first relationship was great, and I was willing to marry him. It didn't work out, and for a while after breaking up I thought that maybe I could've made it work. But now I see that, as I had made a decision for my future regardless of him, then it wasn't meant to be.
That decision I had made now has changed because of another man. I've given up my plans for him, something I never thought I would do. I hesitated, a lot. But that's why I know how important he is for me. That's why now I understand.
A friend of mine who's got a European boyfriend went to his country to spend 3 months there and ended up living there for 10 months. A completely different language, different food, no job, troubles with her mother-in-law. When she came back, at the airport she started to cry. Asked if she was happy to see her family after such a long time, she said: "no… I'm miserable because now my boyfriend is so far away!"
Another friend who's just turned 30 and is doing her doctorate is thinking of giving up her academic career to support her boyfriend, who has to travel a lot because of his job. Her previous relationship had lasted many years, and her ex-boyfriend had even bought a house for them to live after getting married. She broke up with him nonetheless.
Yet another friend, a strong and independent woman, with a bright future ahead of her, has never had a real boyfriend. She's dating this guy who says he's in love with her... after a week dating. She told him to give up, that she's not the kind of girl for him, she's rational, he's passionate. Still, this woman has caught herself missing his everyday messages on the phone, and feeling they've known each other for much longer than a few weeks. I said, go for it, girl. Love is a box full of surprises, and men can be much better and much worse than we would like them to be. So bad that we'd be better off without them, but so good we can't help loving them...
But not me. I waited, and suffered, thinking my turn would never come. While at teenage, I saw all those "relationships" of my friends that were nothing like I'd dreamed of and thought that maybe it would be the same with me. Nevertheless, I waited. Although I didn't find out by trying myself, in my mind everything had already changed. I even considered being single for the rest of my life, and pictured myself as an independent working woman, living alone with my dog, and having fun with a casual boyfriend... Getting married young, giving up things for a man, all that seemed like things only a naive, submissive woman would do. I couldn't know, since I had never lived a real love then.
Now I understand it.
My first relationship was great, and I was willing to marry him. It didn't work out, and for a while after breaking up I thought that maybe I could've made it work. But now I see that, as I had made a decision for my future regardless of him, then it wasn't meant to be.
That decision I had made now has changed because of another man. I've given up my plans for him, something I never thought I would do. I hesitated, a lot. But that's why I know how important he is for me. That's why now I understand.
A friend of mine who's got a European boyfriend went to his country to spend 3 months there and ended up living there for 10 months. A completely different language, different food, no job, troubles with her mother-in-law. When she came back, at the airport she started to cry. Asked if she was happy to see her family after such a long time, she said: "no… I'm miserable because now my boyfriend is so far away!"
Another friend who's just turned 30 and is doing her doctorate is thinking of giving up her academic career to support her boyfriend, who has to travel a lot because of his job. Her previous relationship had lasted many years, and her ex-boyfriend had even bought a house for them to live after getting married. She broke up with him nonetheless.
Yet another friend, a strong and independent woman, with a bright future ahead of her, has never had a real boyfriend. She's dating this guy who says he's in love with her... after a week dating. She told him to give up, that she's not the kind of girl for him, she's rational, he's passionate. Still, this woman has caught herself missing his everyday messages on the phone, and feeling they've known each other for much longer than a few weeks. I said, go for it, girl. Love is a box full of surprises, and men can be much better and much worse than we would like them to be. So bad that we'd be better off without them, but so good we can't help loving them...
posted by Ilka Mina @ 11:05 AM
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